OFFTOPIC: Hiring!

Boys and girls, I’m afraid that there is next to no bile in this post. Life is incredibly cruel sometimes, and I’m sorry to disappoint, but I figured with all the insane/sick/perplexed Java developers reading, it’s as good a venue as any to shill for potential employees.

Basically if you’re in NYC and are a junior/intermediate developer, know rudimentary Java, want to learn stuff and whatnot, then send me your resume. Americans/Canadians/people with no visa issues are strongly preferred (coming to think of it, no Canadians, I hate Canadians. What the hell is their problem anyway?)

Likewise, if you’re in London and want a job, please also send me your resume. Hell, if you’re an American and want a job in London, then that’s good too, we’ll even pay you some relocation money. You can even be a C/C++/.net freak for London and we’ll still talk to you. Financial industry knowledge helps but what helps a lot more is a willingness to learn. Usual blurbage applies (dynamic exciting blahblah team player etc etc growth wibblewibble spring jpa ejb3 javaee otherrandomcrap foofoopoop).

26 Responses to “OFFTOPIC: Hiring!”

  1. Jesse Wilson Says:

    O Canada!
    Our home and native land!
    True patriot love in all thy sons command.

    With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
    The True North strong and free!

    From far and wide,
    O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

    God keep our land glorious and free!
    O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

    O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

  2. Angelo Says:

    Work for you ??? To be molested by you every day??? Hummm, however… I am a brazilian, do you hate us too?

  3. Alf Says:

    Times have changed
    Our kids are getting worse
    They won’t obey their parents
    They just want to fart and curse!
    Should we blame the government?
    Or blame society?
    Or should we blame the images on TV?
    No, blame Canada
    Blame Canada
    With all their beady little eyes
    And flapping heads so full of lies…..

    Anyway, I’d love to move to London once. I’m in Russia now, so if you’re (potentially) willing to help me with work permit, my CV is available any moment (I’m available somethere in September, but that doesn’t really matter, does it?)

  4. Eugene Kuleshov Says:

    All the problems those Americans have with us Canadians always been a total mystery to me. Anyways, what about Canadians who want to move to London? Will you pay them some relocation money? :-)

  5. FooBear Says:

    Hmm… are free facials part of the salary package?

  6. Zarar Siddiqi Says:

    Junior to intermediate?? Hahaha Call me when you need a God……..

  7. Marc Fleury Says:

    work for you ? be part of the circle-jerk club? Oh myyyyyyyyyyy

  8. van Says:

    Know rudimentary Java? I smell you need a new target for facials and blowjobs… and bile.

  9. Wow Says:

    Any rudimentary Java program doesn’t visit this blog because they don’t know who you are. Duh!!!111one

  10. Patrick Carroll Says:

    I still remember the “Cold Karl”/”Hot Lunch” post.

  11. Dhanji Says:

    What about Australians? You racist bastard!

    =)

  12. Interview Sketch Says:

    Imagine the job interview!

  13. Sirimal Pathirana Says:

    Hi,

    I gud java programar. I like learning. I will be gud java programar aftar you teach me J.A.V.A. I live in Sri Lanka and willing to relocate to USA. No visa issues as you get visa for me. I would also lkie You to suck my dick once I get there.

  14. emil Says:

    If I’m reading this correctly, a Canadian partner booted you once or twice and you were left in dry, and all your dreams and intense expectations vanished in a moment? Ooh well, poor silly one, up here we get used to this … Another iteration, write fix, test…..until you find that precious Canadian one …. eh!?

  15. Abu Says:

    halo mister hani,

    u are like sacred cow in here. our chicks faint at the sole mention of ur name and the thought of ur muscular body makes them shake with desire.
    brad pitt is history here, too little java skills.
    but pleaz pleaz pleaz… send ur java job to me, Abu give surety that abu’s code work if code not work you no give me salary.

    ps: Abu wants CTO job at Formicary. please recommend Abu.

    ur friend,
    Abu

  16. Marc Fleury Says:

    Sorry for Abus bad english. Not like my English, even though I’m French

  17. Ray Magini Says:

    Marc… I hope that is not French Canadian, is it :-/

  18. Gavin Says:

    lol … the comments on this article are hilarious!

  19. Abu Says:

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/player/sol/newsid_6660000/newsid_6667300/6667319.stm?bw=bb&mp=rm

  20. Suni Haleiman Says:

    Dear Sirimal,
    Sri Lankan brain vary good, even better than Indian brain.
    But Suni can’t handle big Sri Lankan cock. Suni can suck only small middle-eastern cock.
    Suni

  21. Dumb_Hani Says:

    I love cockroaches. I love Hani. Cockroaches never die, but are ugly, pukish, and invoke negative feelings in your minds. Hani is a cockroach.

  22. wangbinlaochowfunyatlinglingwhatthefuck Says:

    Red Salute Comrade Suni Haleiman,
    expecting it ! I love java,many our friends likes it too.We also think Haleiman should like china!
    I hope you can give more attentions to Chinese programmer!

  23. Subramaniyamrameshsureshusatyavikasshasharma Says:

    Dear sir,
    I am a final year computer science student.i am better in j2ee technologies.
    i can also well handle the webshere studio developed by ibm.
    also i am well in web technologies.also i can well handle oracle.
    i am selected in IBM through the campus interview.but i want to join ur company…
    i am expecting an offer…please send me a H1B visa

  24. cee-jay Says:

    Is there room for a brazillian developer? Didn’t see any bile on brazillians, so I guess they are welcome, right?

  25. Suni Haleiman Says:

    Dear wangbinlaochowfunyatlinglingwhatthefuck,
    Please send resume. Suni don’t mind sucking american cock and occasional chinese cock.

  26. Jesus Christ Says:

    You seem to be very ignorant you racist asshole. I would def. not want to ever work for someone like you… What is your problem you stupid american?

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