JavaOne day 2: the big wtf
Day 2 started abysmally late for me. Getting in at 4:00am the previous night likely wasn’t the wisest move, but such is life at JavaOne.
After a pleasant lunch with some googlers, it was time to make yet another pitiful attempt at attending some sessions. I had about as much success doing that as Marc Fleury would at appropriate capitalisation. I attended a JCP event and rested briefly before the strenious night of festivities ahead.
First up was the bloggers meetup. I’m very surprised by how rubbish this was, all in all. In all previous years (well, all two of them) it was packed and you’d pretty much recognise most people (at least once they said who they were). This year it looks like it was hijacked by a bunch of random Sun nobodies. There was a small cluster though of outsiders so the event wasn’t a total loss. The prime purpose anyway was to piss about aimlessly until it was time for the google party.
Next up was the super sekret google party. The one so secret that it was hard to find people who weren’t invited. In typical google fashioned, one was assured that it’s exclusive and whatnot, yet I saw a random booth babe handing out invites like nobody’s business. Bitch!
The highlight of the party for me was coming up (with James Strachan) with a t-shirt line that we hope to use for next year. What we have so far is:
- I *heart* java.util.Calendar
- I *heart* statics
- Fuck Tim
- John is a motherfucker
GLASSFISH
I did however feel terrible for the poor shit who had to man the door. This was apparently a random google engineer who spent the entire evening standing outside making sure that nobody without a pass got in to drink the shitty beer and wine on offer. You’d think with all their hiring craze they’d be able to hire a doorman or two.
After that it was a trip to House of Shields, where I met a couple of Sun OpenJDK wackos who actually had the first ever coherent argument I’d ever head as to why OpenJDK is a good idea and how it benefits Sun. It’s so simple and obvious, yet Sun’s amazing ability to do good work while being utterly and inexplicably incoherent and off-message ensures that the justification for this, like everything else they do, will remain shrouded in mystery and relegated to the realm of arcane trivia. I also met Dalibor Topic who is possibly the coolest GPL person I’ve ever met. GPL people are generally brain dead nazi fuckhead hippie shirtlifters, yet Dalibor, like some freak of nature, manages to not be any of those things. Most perplexing.
Finally, after being kicked out (sadly a very typical ending to most evenings) 3 of us befriend a homeless guy and for reasons that are still somewhat hazy, end up at Denny’s where a drugged out suit is having a heart to heart with a perplexed homeless guy (different one to ours), and we proceed to demand IHOP fare (with limited success).
I’m not sure what the plan for tonight is, so if someone has any brilliant ideas, let me know! I have high hopes for actually managing to attend sessions today too!
May 10th, 2007 at 3:55 pm
you wanna see wtf? Look no further than here! http://jroller.com/page/RickHigh?entry=running_in_first_1_21
May 10th, 2007 at 4:35 pm
“brain dead nazi fuckhead hippie shirtlifters”! Haha, that was a good one.
Mats
May 10th, 2007 at 5:07 pm
Where and when can I buy the glASSFISH t-shirt. Hilarious!
May 10th, 2007 at 8:06 pm
Where’s the goddamn bile? Isn’t this the BileBlog? Or did I hit the BrownNoseBlog by mistake?
May 10th, 2007 at 11:48 pm
After that it was a trip to House of Shields, where I met a couple of Sun OpenJDK wackos who actually had the first ever coherent argument I’d ever head as to why OpenJDK is a good idea and how it benefits Sun.
Care to elaborate?
May 11th, 2007 at 6:20 am
The parties seem to have two things going for them. One is the beer and two is that it’s something to do. Stuck in a hotel with shitty wifi, the coding or more realistically game playing that I’d rather do isn’t likely to happen. So you go along, because it’s free beer and people are fun.
Being an unsocial bastard I didn’t manage to skip from party to party the way I imagine many do - I snuck into the Sun open source unbof as it was upstairs to the pub I started in; it was much the same as the downstairs of the pub. Same drink, same price, and some complimentary nibbles that didn’t look worth a nibble.
Then on to the Eclipse event. This was the winner of the night. A normal bar, with free beer and a proper atmosphere. I may have to download Eclipse as a thankyou along with the Netbeans install that for some reason I feel an irresistable urge to download and put in a far away directory.
Them much later seeing the end of said Google event. A hotel room with a couple of bartenders and lots of people standing around. I preferred the bar, the whole big hotel meeting room thing feels like a cocktail party.
May 11th, 2007 at 5:06 pm
I haven’t reserved the Fuck Tim Cafepress name yet, but I’m working on it now.
May 15th, 2007 at 4:30 pm
Now I’ll have to come up with some stories about upcoming demonstrations at the g8 summit in my blog to get that nazi-hippie edge back, or something else that shows me as tough & bite-yer-head-off manly.
May 15th, 2007 at 4:59 pm
An even Bigger WTF is the new ColdFusion release. Who the frack cares about coldfusion? I hear they start to create MVC frameworks now. 10 years too late. Man, I wish someone at Adobe would have done a nice thing and killed CF after they bought Macromedia.
September 21st, 2008 at 8:23 am
@CF Hater Why? Jealous?
JSP? I mean gimme a break… THAT was late wasnt it? Go back to writing applets because they are just *so* good and juicy