To Sun: java.net is not a spooge receptacle
What has happened to java.net? From being a mildly interesting place full of boring blogs all related to java in some way or another, it seems to have become the darling facial recipient of certain teams within Sun. Now maybe I’m old fashioned, I like giving a facial as much as the next guy, but really, watching one in progress just doesn’t do it for me. There’s something reasonably unpleasant about seeing a nice girl bukakked, I must confess.
Java.net is that nice girl. She just wants to be friendly, maybe help out with the odd reacharound, the odd swallow, and whatnot. She’s not quite trollopy enough to merit a full on facial extravaganza.
For the last few months, not a day goes by without both the Netbeans and Glassfish teams burbling on about how great their shit is. It’s become such a yawnfest that I think by now, most readers have developed some kind of Pavlovian reaction and immediately twitch towards the delete key, some other bookmark, or simply pass out when seeing one of these too-common entries.
The problem is further compounded by the fact that this junk is sharted out all over javablogs too. It’s impossible to escape. I realise you Sun people think that embracing blogging is now a by-word for marketoids, but you’re going too far. Instead of actually trying any of your products now, I’m eager to avoid them and encourage everyone I know to do likewise, as punishment for your dirty marketing habits.
Sure, it’d be interesting to play with ejb3 persistence. You know what’s not interesting though? Being told to do so only in glassfish. Why not do what any sane ejb3 vendor might do, and market the fact that the persistence layer is now pluggable, and show people how to take the relevant bits from glassfish and use them in a real-world container? Instead, we’re regaled with such great titbits as ‘we’re now migrating to maven2 on an ad-hoc basis’, and ‘blahblah glassfish documentation’ and ‘glassfish makes my penis look pretty’. Don’t even get me started on the various JSF fapperies going on. Does anyone other than the odd book author and training consultant still use that stuff?
As for you Netbeans people, you have nothing useful to offer. Please just go play with your genitalia in private, like god intended. No, I don’t want to use a command-line ant-based build structure that is Netbeans friendly. Nor do I give a flying fuck about Netbeans responsiveness. I particularly do not need 10 different Netbeans fuckfaces pointing out to me that 5.0 RC2 is now out.
It’s a shame, really. java.net could be a very useful resource, and often has surprisingly good content. The way forward though lies in putting up more barriers between Sun and the content. How valuable really is it for a Sun employee (JSF spec lead) to blog about how great Netbeans’ support is?
Javablogs.com for example has always had an unofficial ‘no commercial blogs’ policy. It’s a shame that this has gone a bit lax lately and they aren’t culling out the endless glassfish/netbeans posts, or the tedious ‘JDeveloper version 10.3.2.1.2.3beta2EAPpeniswagglefrotfrot is out tomorrow’ type posts by certain Oracle types.
If you want your content read, Netbeans/glassfish type people, try to give yourself some credibility by trying to be a little bit more subtle, and not turning every post into a ‘isn’t my product great’ spoogefest. You’re all smart guys, and I’m sure you have opinions and interests beyond the tedium of your daily jobs to share with the rest of us.
On a side note, I’m talking at TSSJS in Vegas in March, so make sure you don’t show up unless you’re prepared to do much pointing and laughing.
January 30th, 2006 at 3:12 pm
First – woohoo!
January 30th, 2006 at 4:17 pm
Second – woo-hah !
January 30th, 2006 at 4:21 pm
“I like giving a facial as much as the next guy”
Best. Bile. Ever.
January 30th, 2006 at 4:57 pm
Well put! I too have long been bothered by this form of marketing. Surely these smart Netbeans and JSF developers have something else to talk about other than how cool their project is?
You don’t see me going on and on about how cool Struts is…. ;)
January 30th, 2006 at 5:56 pm
Hani Live in Las Vegas!
Come see Hani perform all your favorite old-fashioned facials!
January 31st, 2006 at 6:18 am
Nicely said. It is time these marketing guys don’t bother us anymore
January 31st, 2006 at 1:20 pm
Why bother reading those blogs?
January 31st, 2006 at 3:24 pm
I’m amazed it took so long for this to happen. java.net was a marketing ploy since day 1. die jsf. die.
January 31st, 2006 at 3:42 pm
What about a nasty girl?
January 31st, 2006 at 5:10 pm
But, you know, java.net has TableLayout. And TableLayout is good. I believe Hani will have it inserted … into JDK 1.6, I mean.
I thought Sun Studio Creator (TM) would replace NetBeans (TM) ? Or was it the Assfish project IDE ?
Speaking of Studio Creator, did you know you can get a discount on many fine Sun products with Studio Creator ? Here, let me give you a link …
February 1st, 2006 at 1:31 pm
I actually like the java.net articles. Always contentious poll subjects and great feature articles. As for the marketing, bah I must not notice it.
PLEASE Hani, bile javalobby. Lately it’s nothing but a constant stream of barely coherent intellectual defecation, and sometimes goes even below that to promote Ruby on Rails as a Java successor.
February 2nd, 2006 at 4:21 am
i read your blog and i must say it’s just another shit of you: probably like your ‘hole blog. PLease give yourself a favor and shut your mouth closet up.
February 2nd, 2006 at 4:39 am
I previously thought that JSF stood for Java Server Feces but I get it now: it’s Java Server Facials! That suddenly explains everything.
February 2nd, 2006 at 7:27 am
assfish: another one for your quiver Hani.
It’ll be like killing 2 birds with one stone.
February 3rd, 2006 at 5:30 pm
Brilliant post. Have a look at my posts on some of these matters!
February 3rd, 2006 at 6:23 pm
Java Server Facials!
LOOOOL
“Click here to get Java Server Facials”
February 4th, 2006 at 7:15 pm
The bileblog is slowly becumming a hardcore porn site. From now on when Hani uses google to find bukakke and facial sites, his own blog will show up in the hit list.
February 6th, 2006 at 1:23 pm
Yeah, I have to agree. It’s really going downhill with Sun constantly engaging in self-gratification…
February 8th, 2006 at 4:33 am
And why the fuck is java.net on https??!?!?
February 14th, 2006 at 9:48 pm
I wish anybody making new shit would just die. I want to use assembler to write my business logic and VI to do it with. Fuck HTML and long live CICS. We knew what we were doing…
And I like abacus for 1 + 36.
February 17th, 2006 at 3:01 pm
OldStinky has it exactly right ! We need to stay close to the soil and keep aflame the principles that made this such a great country. All this new manure just clouds the real issues.
8 + 39 was too hard, so I am waiting for an easier one.
Ah, there it is : 7 + 57.
February 21st, 2006 at 7:48 am
This post was quite a bit over the top! The porn references don’t belong in a tech blog. I usually find your posts amusing and informative. This one however was neither.
February 26th, 2006 at 9:01 am
“As for you Netbeans people, you have nothing useful to offer. Please just go play with your genitalia in private”
lol .. well said !