TSSS Wrapup
First of all, apologies for not covering the last day of TSSS. An early flight to Guatemala coupled with watching the sun rise the previous night very quickly squished any hopes of attendance.
Overall, the conference was a laugh. Vegas is a great location for it, and really, most of the fun is probably due to that. As no doubt most attendees felt, there really was absolutely nothing truly useful in any sessions that you couldn’t find without some rampant googlage, but that’s to be expected. The real point of these things is socialising and getting to yell at people in person.
The highlights for me were meeting a bunch of new people. In no particular order: All the oracle guys (despite them being Canadian and having a jdbc driver that’s about as enticing as bill burke’s breast milk), Craig McLanalanahamabanahan (who loves the silent majority of java developers out there, even if he hates the ones who actually know java), Craig Russell (bright JDO spec lead with his heart in the right place), Andres March (oscache maintainer who is hilarious when drunk), and finally getting to have a conversation with Rod Johnson about his pasty manboobs and various Springy things. I can say I was truly surprised once, when an EJB3 migration talk turned very surreal with a completely irrelevant discussion of porcupine mating habits and the role of urine therein (with relevant slide).
The lowlights and weirdnesses were many and varied. So I’m sure I’m missing some out. First up of course is everyone’s favourite whipping boy, Bill Berk. He has the somewhat dubious honour of being the only speaker who had people shaking their heads sadly as they walked out of his AOP talk. It’s actually odd how many people dislike this guy. He then worked further to cement his professional image in the EJB3 BOF, where he was the ONLY expert who managed to consistently plug his own product and never gave any credit to anyone else (or anything other than jboss/hibernate). It’s a total mystery why the guy works so hard at always appearing to be a socially retarded child around adults who feel awkward that such an inept spastic needs to be invited.
One of the funniest moments however was when some random guy decided to listen in on Rod and I talking. The man’s approach to listening was certainly novel, as it involved moving his face as close as possible to the speaker’s. So there was this guy, his face whipping back and forth from Rod’s mouth to mine, his eyes wild, staring into us unflinchingly without a care in the world. Poor Rod panicked and kept trying to move away, eventually completing a full circle around the table just to try and dodge this lunatic. You could feel the tension rising, it was as if the guy was abount to open his mouth and literally put Rod’s head in it, and Rod knew he only had a few minutes to cope with this impending disaster. On further reflection, the man might have well been deaf and attempting to read lips. Still, it’s surprisingly disorienting to have a person literally breathe on you while you’re trying to make a point.
I also got to give a ‘tech talk’, where I was cornered into saying things like ‘poopoo’, ‘genitalia’, and ‘asshat’. Maybe I shouldn’t make so much fun of berkyboy, as I suspect I’m now just are hirable as he is.
March 11th, 2005 at 1:37 pm
FIST PEST!
MUUAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAA!
March 11th, 2005 at 1:40 pm
Its sad that i missed Rod being eaten by some weirdo. Must been one of the highlihgts of TSSS. Perhaps i can make it next year, but its so damn far away from germany and the only motivation would be to see all those bloggers in real person. Perhaps i can combine it with a marriage or something.
March 11th, 2005 at 1:46 pm
Anyway, why don’t you bile Spring Framework for it’s enormously bloated API? Sure, it’s actually useful, but the ever growing class and interface count is just grotesque.
But I guess we won’t get a bile of Spring, now that you have succumbed to drinking the sour milk of Rod’s doughie man-boobs.
March 11th, 2005 at 3:50 pm
Here’s a joke that should make me more popular with women.
Q: What do you call the greasy stuff all around the vagina ?
A: “Honey”
March 11th, 2005 at 6:55 pm
I find it endlessly fascinating, that Rod Johnson’s entire name consists of two synonyms for male genitalia.
March 12th, 2005 at 12:12 am
Before Our announcement, Bill sent me to TSSS!
Here is my TSSS wrap up:
1) Hani is funny very funny!
you sat the far left seat of last row when the
EJB 3 BOF, at the end of the Session, You went from
back to the front.. is that you
you look so mild and smiling…
well: like ‘poopoo’, ‘genitalia’, and ‘asshat’
Sooner or later, you are going to run out of
gas!
2) Rod Johnson,Rod Johnson,Rod Johnson, has a book
Entitled
Expert One-on-One J2EE Development without EJB
That is silliest thing in J2EE School:
J2EE without EJB is not J2EE!
J2EE without EJB (we studied carefully)
Is called Web Component which are Servlet and JSP
Boy that is Tomcat, that is web Container==> If web
Container only, it is NOT J2EE ==> Enterprise!
J2EE without EJB is not J2EE!
J2EE without EJB is not J2EE hence is NOT
An Expert! It is not One to One it is one to many
One silly English Musician to Many Experts… Fool
Yourself! It is not Expert One to One It is Not!
J2EE without EJB is NOT J2EE is NOT Expert IS
Not One to ONE Can not be mapped using HIBERNATE==>
You J2EE need Hibernating (WINDOWS functionality)…
It is a shame for J2EE School, a Math teacher
Don?t know basic LOGIC who gave a keynote
by a musician Ph.D Is that Keynote C Sharp We like it!
Sooner or later you are going to running out
of gas!
3) Rod Johnson,Rod Johnson,Rod Johnson
You learned IoC DI and Lightweight from your
J2EE Master Martin Fowler
Martin Fowler Martin Fowler Martin Fowler Martin
Fowler, without a PH.D, He could not be a Scientist in
UK system not mentioned “CHIEF Scientist”
No LOGIC in your J2EE school again:
“THOUGHTworks” Is not a research Institute
no Research DIVISION: No Scientist there whose pure
job is conduct scientific Research! No
No on doing that! If no One Scientist, How come
There is a “Chief Scientist”!
Silly Silly! No Logic and fundamental Wrong while
He enjoy silly title like his grandson Rod Johnson
enjoy Silly Title: J2EE without EJB ” ENTERPISE” come
on!
How About J2EE without EJB Expert
J2EE without Servlet
J2EE without Jsp
Great J2EE without any Substance
J2EE with Ioc, ….==> How anout .Net?
Martin Martin Silly POJO
Martin does NOT know anything about
Distributed Computing “CHIEF Silly Scienst” said POJO
your J2EE high Schooler follower his silly LAW: LAW
ONE ” DON’t Distributed Law”
Distributed Computing is such beautiful thing,
HE GUIDE you to POJO
Sad sad, purely backward movement
Sooner or Later You are going to running out
of gas.
Look at Bill, whom I am going to report:
“Chief Software Architect” At least MAKE LOGIC
Sense! Than CHIEF Scientist!
WHY?
4) I SAW a guy from BEA entitled “Chief SCIENTIST”
Are you paid to conduct Scientific Research? DO you
have?
a Music PhD like ROD?
5) Hibernate or Hibernating…
Gavin Kid gave a talk: Good Half Hour! (Running
out of Gas… wait…)
I like him a high School kid who did some nice
Contribution: Learned SQl in 1 year, Learned
Java another year, do a Mapping third year called
Hibernate AS he SAID!
Very good!
The one thing I can not help crying from my
HEART is that
YOUR J2EE School worship him like we ENGLISH
Worship ROD, or WAIT Worship Charles
Or no
Your more aged people worship this high school
Look Kid like we scientists worship NEWTON!
or We “Chief Scientists” Not Chief Technology
Officers” Worship Bill!
Please response back?.
March 12th, 2005 at 4:54 am
OK mate, from now on I shall be known as Chief Breast Milk Officer.
March 12th, 2005 at 11:32 am
Did anyone other than me notice that Rob Johnson and his American-accented co-presentor in the Advanced Spring talk looked almost exactly the same?
Is this part of the new CloneSupport API?
March 12th, 2005 at 12:37 pm
Hey Fate – YOU are actually apologizing for something? That’s quite unlike you. I think you’re losing your stuff here.
March 13th, 2005 at 9:59 pm
Will somebody kill AOP, I hate hearing about again and again and again.
March 15th, 2005 at 5:49 am
Another IXXXX from J2EE school!
Berlin Brown!
AOP is going to be growing
nobody can kill AOP!
You hate hearing block you ear or get out of SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT!
Brown: Take a look at AOSD then!
March 15th, 2005 at 5:52 am
Hani, ROD or Martin….
I DO expect your feedback!
March 15th, 2005 at 10:41 am
AOP, sometimes like java, tech people will stay away from it. But if you get enough business people excited enough, they will nag on the techies over several years till they give up and just learn that something new.
You never would have gotten away with this in C++.
System.out.println();
March 15th, 2005 at 3:50 pm
“Maybe I shouldn’t make so much fun of berkyboy, as I suspect I’m now just are hirable as he is.”
so you think you are as hirable as Bill Burke? we all know that this is not the case, at least you do not have comparable credentials AFAIK
but don’t worry, i would hire you as a comedian, you are really good!!!
March 18th, 2005 at 8:50 pm
Hani,
Bill Berk actually builds stuff and does stuff…. It seems all you do is talk smack.
I would hire Mr. Berk anyday over your winey ass!
March 18th, 2005 at 8:53 pm
I think Bill wrote all of 1trillion lines of JBoss and JBoss AOP anyway and put Marc’s name in there so he wouldn’t feel like a dork.
March 22nd, 2005 at 7:05 pm
Ray Ozzie reminds me of all those Chiara posts from a while back.
Here, I’ll try:
With you that, 4 imeyu theories which it is possible those normal
statements, being for the second time converted by Japanese after this
to the Russian after this of the back section, when it accepted, made
many feeling in the same way.
March 23rd, 2005 at 4:44 am
I have an affair with the sweetheart affectionately known as ‘berkyboy’. Believe me, unlike his AOP implementation, his manhood is second to none!
March 30th, 2006 at 11:35 pm
surprised nobody caught the typo in the last sentence. maybe that was intentional.
May 24th, 2006 at 10:33 pm
Actually I have a Question. I had a cat afraid
of everything except me. He has been in the house all his life almost. I found him on my porch approx 5 weeks old. He is now 8 months old. He went out of my house about 2 weeks ago and I haven`t seen him since. He was calling for a female.
I would like to know how far they will go or wonder away from home so that I might look for him?
I feel an urgent need to do so. He has never had to hunt for food before. I really really do need to find him. Please help. Sincerelt Linda