Nothing can be groovy

Why is there no public outcry at the blatant, cruel, and inconsiderate hijacking of this word by a bunch of ruthless good for nothing loosely typed limp wristed pyrubyites?

I mean, it’s one thing to come up with new scripting language and proclaim it to be the best thing since internet porn. In that same vein, even the breathtaking audacity of trying to whore it via the auspices of the JCP can be dismissed as a severe case of mass insanity. However, to do all that AND hijack a perfectly legitimate word is beyond the pale.

Just think of all the poor bastards everywhere who think that they can enrich their lives and maybe even make a bit of money by learning java. They pick up the basics. They pick the clique they want to be part of, they start a blog and unwrap their disused genitalia and prepare for a good few years of furious and misguided tugging. After all that, what do they find? Well, they’ll find that doing all that means a reduction in their vocabulary. They will have a word cruelly stolen from them. They will gnash their teeth and tear at their hair when they realise that if they ever want to say ‘groovy’ again, it had better be yet another hilarious joke about James Strachan’s latest illegitimate offspring freakshow. No longer will they be able to casually express approval by using that word, or even exclaim with slight surprise using that particular combination of letters.

So, for the sake of this beautiful language, can we please learn our lesson and not allow words to be hijacked again? It’s a cheap dirty advertising trick and should be beneath us, mature responsible adults that we all are.

37 Responses to “Nothing can be groovy”

  1. Joseph Ottinger Says:

    I think I’m going to start a language effort called “Wow,” and “Yes” and – just maybe – “functional.”

  2. blah Says:

    what a weak bile. Stretching for material a bit? You’re better than this, Hani!

  3. Davide Inglima - limaCAT Says:

    Groovy!

  4. th0u9ht l34d3r Says:

    a softcocked attempt at bile, made even worse by the fact that groovy is an fetus DESPERATELY begging for abortion

  5. fletch Says:

    How about we head to the capital of Jakarta and discuss the hijacking of words by those unscrupulous hausmates over a cup of Java. idiot.

  6. Carlos Villela Says:

    Well, it’s not like we could exclaim “groovy!” at something without being laughed at by looking like trying to be Austin Powers, is it? :)

  7. Rob Abbe Says:

    Do the biles get better during sweeps?

    Maybe they should have called it “gay” or “queer” instead of groovy, since as TV has tought us, it’s hip and trendy to be gay these days.

  8. Snotty Retard Says:

    What are you doing?
    Diggin’.
    Why?
    To make a hole.
    A hole for what?
    More diggin’.

  9. Charles Miller Says:

    The only way you could use the word Groovy before it was taken by the programming language was in a deprecating self-referential Generation X “Yeah, my parents were hippies” sense.

    So it’s not a big loss.

  10. Niall Says:

    Hani

    Get your groove on — this ain’t bile, its milk and honey!

  11. Groovy isn't very Groovy Says:

    Groovy isn’t a good name for the language. The language is very un-Groovy. Maybe Gravy would be the name for it.

    When asked what Groovy is for, the best reply is “it’s fun”. Or one guy tried to show how replacing 1k of XML with 2k of Groovy was a benefit…

    It doesn’t deserve to have a JCP. It hurts the word Groovy.

  12. Jared Odulio Says:

    How about we head to the capital of Jakarta and discuss the hijacking of words by those unscrupulous hausmates over a cup of Java. idiot.

    Capital of Jakarta? Jakarta has no capital idiot, but Indonesia has.

  13. lowem Says:

    … and Apache was an Indian tribe, Tomcat vs Tabby Cat, Roller is Optimus Prime’s sidekick, Ant is a little insect, Castor is a wheel under your chair, DOM is some wine label, Velocity is measured in km/h, miles per hour, or m/sec. Did I also mention that Cactus is a plant, Hibernate is what some animals do in the winter, a Slide can be found in playgrounds, Struts can be found in your car suspension, and a Rhino can be found in the zoo. And of course, the original, which is that you usually close the Windows when it rains …

  14. Anonymous Says:

    … and now the new *longhorn* from MacroShaft… to shove it up your arse!

  15. Anonymous Says:

    “Nothing can be more smelly” — next bile from hani after smelling his panties.

  16. th0u9ht l34d3r Says:

    “Maybe Gravy would be the name for it. ”

    I like that, it really puts into perspective how those shiteating monkeys who are behind Groovy are trying increase their dick size in happylalajavaland by forcing it on us.

    If you’ve got nothing better to do than write toy code, publish books and sound off in blogs, then fuck off into academia; that’s what it’s there for.

  17. ash Says:

    Listen up you primitive screwheads, all Java(tm) is full of stupid words. Servlets, JavaBeans(tm), POJOs. Your whole language is full of faggotry, at least saying “groovy” provides you a retro-hip feeling instead of being embarassed by talking about the POJOs in the beans.

  18. j Says:

    What was wrong with BeanShell (that necessitated groovy) anyway?

  19. Tom Copeland Says:

    They should have called it “Smashing”. Or “Shagadelic”.

  20. Fred Says:

    Putting CRUD in your .ear might make require it to explode first. Groovy isn’t it. :)

    Yah, where I come from, you get your ass kicked for sayin shit like that.

    Yes, its no wonder managment thinks we are all crazy psychopaths who would be instantly institutionalized as soon as we stop turning over a dollar for the company with our BS&T.

  21. Repugnant Says:

    Hani,

    You are running out of bile. Please go to New York to see Karl Rove and get some supply.

  22. holyone Says:

    I can’t really understand how come the collective brains of JCP gone insane all of a sudden!

    Whats the damn thing this groovy crap is going to fix aparting from filling filth?

    Oh yeah, you can run any language inside jvm. For fucksake, why you want to do that???

    though it beats me, but may be and only may be some nutter could find some usage for this crap b’cos there is no shortage of retards in java community. But what’s annoying is, the whorish way they try to promote this turd.

    In one article somebody even claimed that the good thing about groovy is you dont need to learn a new language. Oh my word!!! now you have to learn some shit scripting!!!

    But all these whorish stuff comes next to nothing comparing with Spring. A framework to rule them all, which actually does nothing but adding another layer of “do-nothing” in your architecture.

    Hani, how about biling Spring? (or you have already decided its a dead horse?)

  23. Anonymous Says:

    Groovy’s best feature is its authors’ arrogant decision that the last 10 years of development of Python, Ruby, JavaScript, and, yes, even Perl were a complete waste and the world needed yet another scripting language.

    Not to mention the fact that there’s Rhino, JRuby and Jython all combining those languages with Java inside a JVM. Should we help one of these existing projects? Of course not, this is Open Source! Let’s implement a completely new scripting language that’s superior to what thousands of other programmers have spent the last decade perfecting.

    Running this atrocity through the JCP to give it some kind of credibility is just kicking us while we’re down. Is there a way to kill JCP proposals from the outside?

    Slightly OT but since it came up, I heard the next release of Spring will actually brew your coffee for you.

  24. Clown Puncher Says:

    Yeah, just comment on the public draft if it makes it that far.

  25. Gravy Train Says:

    “Maybe Gravy would be the name for it.”

    Choo Choo… hop aboard the gravy train express. Everyone wants a little extra gravy on their potato. That’s why we have a hundred different scripting langauges and wheel re-inventions. You have to make “Yet Another POS” to make your name and get some of that extra gravy. All good boondoogles crave the taste of that extra helping of gravy.

  26. Bob Says:

    BeanShell is *the* best for scripting Java.

  27. cry baby Says:

    pretty weak, hanni
    maybe we should bile you for hijacking the word ‘bile’ while just being a cry baby?
    Take a week out, watch some tv, get a life, loose some brain mass, then write an acid bile…

  28. Groovy Goat Says:

    This is your butt:

    ( | )
     | | 

    This is your butt on Groovy:

    ( 0 )
     |  | 

  29. SlowMovingTarget Says:

    You’ve let your underscores droop, Mr. Goat. That’s:
    (_|_) and (_O_) respectively.

    I think Hani’s spleen has simply dried up. We should all let him rest and regenerate. Or maybe that other poster was correct, and we should start throwing things out to see if Hani’s bile rises at them.

    How about a few new specifications / projects:

  30. Enterprise Logging Beans, enterprise-class loggers with SOAP invocation.
  31. WrapperDoclet: an automatic generator for creating wrappers for existing APIs. It doesn’t simplify them, it just renames them and makes them participate in the Throwable class hierarchy.
  32. Exceptional! The Language: a new scripting language for Exception-Oriented programming. All flow-control is managed by throwing exceptions.
  33. JSR-666: Language Skins – Programmers could make up their own syntax and define maps. For example, the Angry White Programmer syntax includes try...dammit...screwit blocks. Cheerleader syntax requires you start every line with OK, and! prefixes, and declare all your variables in the form Give me an int... i!
  34. A remote invocation protocol that uses the entire set of features in SGML
  35. So if you folks could get busy implementing that, then Hani could refresh his bile and strike out with full force.

  36. fx Says:

    I like the idea of language skins. It’s kinda like skinning a cat and call it a beaver. It also kinda is what’s called CLR on that other platform.

  37. Cameron Says:

    Goats and beavers .. hmm.

  38. Snotty Retard Says:

    me thought bush had caught all the mercenaries

    boy was me wrong! check out the Jokers

    scary, m’kay?

  39. Clown Puncher Says:

    heheh, uh…ehehhe…he said “boner“.

  40. Groovy Baby Says:

    Hani, yer an asswhore

  41. Anonymous Says:

    One thing that cracks me up is this Gmail shit. With all the talent Google has poached their free email system is still in beta and probably will stay there for years :)

  42. Will Gayther Says:

    test1
    test2

    test3

    test4

  43. Anonymous Says:

    Ruby is much older than Java BTW

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