JavaOne day one yawnfest
Having rolled in at 11am today (keynotes are for girls, real men just loiter around doing nothing intead), the dominant emotion of the day is…tiredness. I woke up at 2am local time, so it’s pretty much bedtime right now. Undaunted by this timezone trickery though, I thought it’d be worth making some half-assed effort to actually attend the damn thing.
The pavilion area was surprisingly boring. Maybe I showed up late or something, but the swag on offer was truly pathetic. The best you could hope for was a pen, keychain, or tshirt. Not only that, but every fucking vendor you look at will start chasing you with a zapper in order to get you into their ‘opt-in’ list and bombard you endlessly with shite about their tawdry little products.
In fact, I was so exceptionally bored by the vendors whoring their wares, that I simply couldn’t summon up the enthusiasm to actually attend any of the technical sessions. The boredom was of such magnitude that my brain had simply shut down and refused point blank to do anything I asked it to.
It turns out that you don’t actually need to do anything or go anywhere during these things. You can do so vicariously simply by accosting various people and demanding to know what they’ve seen and heard. So following my own advice, the following facts emerged:
Of course, the real fun will happen tonight, when I get to meet all the tossers who have blogs in javaland. What a diabolical plan, to bring together the biggest losers and most tedious authors ever to disgrace this English language in one place, and have them all simultaneously gorge themselves on a veritable orgy of circlejerk. I’m worried about all the unmentionable tugging that is about to take place. I hope nobody ever finishes off a sentence with ‘you can read more about this on my blog’, or I’ll have to vomit violently into their smug little faces.
June 28th, 2004 at 7:50 pm
No rendezvous?
Haven’t seen you in iChat–what’s up with that? Afraid I’ll come punch you?
June 28th, 2004 at 7:51 pm
Oh, and OpenWave is giving away more FREE BEER.
How is that boring?
June 29th, 2004 at 1:09 am
Marc’s Spasms Confirmed.
I was heading down the escalator, and he was heading up.
I made a point to stare at him–and the reaction was a sort of paranoid schizophrenic / bi-polar type tick/twitch with some mouth frothing thrown in.
I think the man has genuine mental issues.
Well, that’s all I learned today. That and the fact that the Thirsty Bear doesn’t have the foresight to staff themselves appropriately when there are two major events (JavaOne/Apple WWDC) in town at the same time. –Unlike the JBoss booth which had a 6:0 JBoss:Atendee ratio standing around in a sort of “i’ll hold your dick, you hold mine and we’ll all be happy” type thing.
Well, enough clown punching. I have some real work to do–and my free beers are wearing off. Hasta Mañana.
PS: Don’t sleep in so late Hani you lazy fuck! You’re missing good fodder.
June 29th, 2004 at 1:20 am
I don’t believe you’re actually here. I looked around for you, but I saw no Lufthansa uniforms.
Saying you were too lazy to attend any sessions is just a lousy excuse. You’re not fooling me.
June 29th, 2004 at 3:23 am
… but if Hani wasn’t there how would he know that Marc Fleury spasms violently. No-one could guess a thing like that without being there. That’s proof enough for me.
June 29th, 2004 at 9:45 pm
Not very silent, are you?
June 29th, 2004 at 9:56 pm
So, where / when is “BileOne” —the BileBlog meet and wank?
June 30th, 2004 at 12:38 pm
I think BileOne is at The Thirsty Bear on Wed night.
June 30th, 2004 at 1:40 pm
Sweet. You’re not going to be like Phipps and quiz people on the way in are you?