Fuck thought leaders!
One thing that struck me at TSSS when talking to ‘normal’ people was how many were using EJBs, running in lard-ass containers, no less. Everyone was excited about spring, hibernate, and whatnot, but very few non-adventurous types were actually using them. I heard more than one person complain about the fact that all this opensource fappery was nothing they could actually use in their enterprise environment, and thus somewhat irrelevant from a practical perspective.
The people actually using this cutting edge type stuff were often those who had their own blogs, weren’t afraid of joining mailing lists, and were pretty much part of a disgusting incestuous java community that has long since swapped common sense and practical results for feeble genitalia tugging.
The problem arises of course when this tugging of unmentionables is lauded and admired and viewed as some kind of astounding achievement. Even worse, those who do not indulge in this filthy habit are mocked and taunted and looked down on. The whole thing of course is reinforced by the fact that most are happily shielded from interacting with the ‘normal’ people, they’re able to simply dismiss all their fellow employees as ‘idiots’. It’s no coincidence that most of these tuggers will almost uniformly state that ‘my entire team is a bunch of idiots! I’m the only smart guy!’.
Of course, human psychology dictates that we must always clearly establish superiority over anything ‘different’. We’ve been doing it for millennia. So the genitalia obsessed for example won’t think ‘My job is terminally boring so I try to spice it up with dumb shit that others are too old to be amused by’, instead they’ll think ‘they’re all dummies!’.
Another requirement for this filthy circlejerk club is to have the memory of a guppy. You must, under no circumstances, learn from your mistakes. Instead, the self respecting java circlejerker will build hacks around the mistake to try and paper over the gaping holes and herculean logic flaws. In any other language, open source products are allowed to die the miserable death they so richly deserve. In the java world, nothing dies, it just gets refactored.
So look around, do you consider yourself in the smart minority in your team? Do you think it’s a matter of time before everyone else realises your genius and adopts your ways? If the answer is yes, then it’s time to get up, slowly pull the thumb out of your anus, and casually let go of the nearest guy’s penis, and perhaps, with truly open eyes, look around.
May 14th, 2004 at 11:22 am
Spoken like a true insider. The irony of who you are and what you do only makes BileBlog funnier.
May 14th, 2004 at 11:29 am
I tug poon-tang, does that make me a circle jerker too?
May 14th, 2004 at 11:39 am
Hani,
Do you think it’s a matter of time before everyone else realises your genius and adopts your ways? If the answer is yes, then…
May 14th, 2004 at 12:29 pm
I will realize the guy’s genius if he speaks against EJB entity beans build his application on Spring, define the aspects with AspectJ, use jakarta-commons all over, persist objects with hibernate/ibatis, do pair-programming, develop on Eclipse, build the application with Maven or Rubby, deploy it on JBoss and keep the application non-stop running for a week.
I will call him genius of some sort but …
p.s. I am not claiming these tools are terrible :)
May 14th, 2004 at 12:29 pm
So I take it that you’re not a fan of new technology then Hani ? Still stuck on those EJB’s eh and Fornicate.cnet won’t let you remove them to get onto something interesting ?
May 14th, 2004 at 12:46 pm
Beautiful. Well done.
May 14th, 2004 at 12:50 pm
It’s really just about what works. That should dictate everything — open source or not, Apache/Codehaus or not, whatever.
As usual, there are some valid points hidden in there, but you speak in too many absolutes. The fact that so many people rush to use the next cool technology that may or may not actually make things easier is just as amusing and pathetic as all of the bileblog-followers who worship and giggle at everything that you say.
The existence of a smart minority is not always fictional. There are plenty of environments where typical software heads have lost touch with technology.
As someone else noticed, the bileblog scene implies itself as the ‘smarter’ minority, which is amusing for obvious reasons.
May 14th, 2004 at 2:39 pm
Fuck Hani!
May 14th, 2004 at 3:07 pm
back about 4 years ago the EJB and Entity Bean crowd was thinking they were the smart minority too. We, on the whole, bought the fappery and now suffer for it. That’s why I agree: f*** the thought leaders – think for yourself.
I think the bileblog is more a reaction to the ‘green pastures and open sky promises of the byte-code manipulating/object proxy/AOP hack du jour’. IMO.
May 14th, 2004 at 3:31 pm
And now the EJB spec crowd is taking after the open source crowd and refactoring EJBs for a 3rd time. In the J2EE world, nothing dies, it just gets refactored. At least the open source crowd stops supporting the old implementation. The EJB spec crowd still has something to learn in this regard.
May 14th, 2004 at 4:06 pm
What’s more, with every major revision of EJB being completely different (even different at the conceptual level, not just the details), I’d say opensource is no less stable or backward compatible.
If you built your stack on just Servlets and WebWork 3 or 4 years ago, all of that would work with the latest J2EE. Now things like Spring come out which can allow you to refactor and improve your existing code base, and would be very simple to introduce if you’ve followed sound OO principles.
I had this argument with the JDJ advisory board at last years JavaOne. Someone was suggesting that using Entity Beans was more portable and would have provided better long term compatibility than implementing using Hibernate. See, the thing is, Entity Beans 1.0 != Entity Beans 2.0 != Entity Beans 3.0… Not even close. Hibernate 1.x ~= Hibernate 2.x (that’s approximately equal), and it was a pretty painless upgrade.
I’m happy with that decision, how’s your Entity Bean rewrite going (again)?
May 14th, 2004 at 5:36 pm
Some clown in Sacramento was dragged into court
He shot his lawnmower
It disobeyed, it wouldn’t start
Might makes right, it’s the American wayR
They fined him $60 and sent him on his way
You know, some people don’t take no shit
Maybe if they did they’d have half a brain left
May 14th, 2004 at 6:27 pm
EJB’s just suck, period. Why would anyone use such an atrocity?
May 15th, 2004 at 12:40 am
I’m sorry you’re having a bad day. Get some sleep and maybe you’ll feel better tomorrow.
May 15th, 2004 at 1:19 am
> “Might makes right, its the American way”.
Hmmm, we know all about the American way, and we don’t want any part of it. Thanks
May 15th, 2004 at 2:33 am
God told me to skin you alive
May 15th, 2004 at 11:55 am
Hani, have you considered a job in writting cheap porn scripts? All this thugging and anal thumbing is getting me all horny and stuff!
May 15th, 2004 at 8:15 pm
I wonder if hani bites good carpet.
May 16th, 2004 at 11:37 pm
It’s a good thing everyone at OpenSymphony is a brilliant thought leader, eh Hani?
May 17th, 2004 at 12:30 am
I’m in the mood for saying “shit”… I call this… shitfest. Sorry for my bad english, I’m from China.
Sorry for pooing on your backyard Hani.
Programmer: Hey shithead, why are you giving me shit all the time? Don’t you have better thing to do with your shitty life?
Quality assurance: Excuse me, _you_ gave me those shitload, so I just throw them back at you! Don’t expect me to eat those shits, and let you go away just like that.
Programmer: don’t put all the blame on me, ok? The shite business analysts and software designers started all these mess. They think we can build castle out of materials enough only to produce shit. Yea, yea, we can build them castle of shit.
Analyst: What are you farting about? I’ve done my part very well. I’ve produced stacks of documentations. Now look at your code, it’s like tangle of long shits. You call yourself software developer, hah? The fact is you don’t know shit about software construction.
Project leader: guys, guys, stop your bitchy quarell. I have a good solution, let’s just wrap this shit very well, and send it off to customer.
— on receiving the “present” —
Not so clueless customer: What is this? Painting shit with pink and bottles of cologne wouldn’t make it a rose. It’s still a shit.
May 17th, 2004 at 12:32 am
“Hmmm, we know all about the American way, and we don’t want any part of it. Thanks
Posted by Gerald Bauer at 15.05.2004 01:19:58″
Piss off you ass-clown. Keep you filthy politics in your pants–where your hands are (fiddling about aimlessly looking for something)
May 17th, 2004 at 1:03 am
Hi, I’m yet another chinaman…., so, sorry for my bad english.
Same as gerald bauer, I don’t want any part of american way. We prefer chinese way instead. China rocks. We have chinux, you have usux!
May 17th, 2004 at 1:10 am
Yeah…I don’t want freedom or liberty either!
Give me China Way….Chickety Chiina, you have?
May 17th, 2004 at 1:10 am
Chinux? Can we call it “Chinx” for short?
May 17th, 2004 at 1:31 am
Welcome to the real world, Hani :-). The number of mainstream developers in the situation you describe (unable or unwilling to use cutting edge technology) is many orders of magnitude larger than the number of people touting their latest-greatest new technology, let alone actually trying them out.
Of course, it would help the world in general if thought leaders and other bloggers (including you :-) did not routinely bash pretty much all of the technologies that mainstream developers might actually get a shot at using and understanding, precisely *because* they are not new-and-exciting. There is a place for helping the mainstream developer do their job as effectively as possible, given the tools at hand. The Struts community, for example, has been deliberately crafted to be comfortable to this audience (which is in no small part responsible for its popularity). It saddens me that nobody else seems to get it — technical wizardry is attractive primarily to other wizards. The rest of us just need to get on with our lives.
But I do salute you for being the first of those whose blog I actually browse once in a while to actually say this out loud.
Craig McClanahan
May 17th, 2004 at 3:52 am
Hani, Craig’s post seem to be nice (despite how many times you bash him). At leas he doesn’t call you the way you call him… CraigMcClalalalalalala. Did you sleep with him during TSSS?
Sorry for my bad english, I’m from Timor Leste.
May 17th, 2004 at 7:05 am
Most people use plain old JDBC, no EJBs.
May 17th, 2004 at 7:15 am
The American way! Yes, stick your heads up your arses and eat your own shit. It’s the only thing you thick, world-blind morons are good at.
May 17th, 2004 at 7:22 am
Biggus Dickus, can you give me an example of “sticking head up the arse and eat own shit”? Maybe some pictures will help.
Sorry for my bad english, I’m from Singapore. We speak no English, but Singlish instead.
May 17th, 2004 at 7:48 am
> can you give me an example of “sticking head up
> the arse and eat own shit”? Maybe some pictures
> will help.
Ask that Rumsfeld guy, I heard he collects such pictures.
May 17th, 2004 at 8:39 am
Don’t bash Hani for taking the “American Way”, he’s far from being an American. If you look at the “intelligent” Americans, yes there are a few, very few, you’ll find they too think like Europeans, Middle Easterns and Asians, i.e. “normal”, thinking people.
I think this is more of an intellectual divide, and yes there are an awful lot more Americans on the “world-blind” American side than the other side but the problem is the “average” twat “programmer” who really doesn’t think for him/herself. As someone who is definitely not American and has lived in Asia, Europe and the US the same is true all over the World. Most of the so-called programmers are simply earning money, they are not in it for the “love” of programming. REAL programmers live to program, money’s an annoying thing that you have to invoice from time to time so that you can buy new hardware.
The change of course goes on drinking and wild parties with the opposite sex.
-John-
May 17th, 2004 at 9:57 am
What the hell is this–some Bill Mahr channel all of a sudden or what?
JAVA God Dammit.
JAVA.
Stick to the topic.
Or I’ll put a boot up your ass—that’s the American Way.
May 17th, 2004 at 2:29 pm
Hani’s right for the most part … someone finally spoke my mind.
However, every once in while great products and ideas do come out of open source – e.g. Hibernate.
EJBs suffered from of the same shit … a bunch of pie in the sky morons coming up with crap and the self-proclaimed cool kids on the block soakin it up like t’was GOD himself pissing out the spec.
EJB 3.0 looks good so far … its the 3rd fuckin revision – it better … It steals the Meta-ing concept from C#.NET, Injection IOC from Spring, and CMP from Hibernate. All good concepts and kudos to the people that came up with these concepts inspite of EJB 1.0 and EJB 2.0 being shoved down our throats.
May 17th, 2004 at 3:24 pm
This seems like an excuse to mention the unmentionables for count, 1, 2, 3, 4x! I think this kind of bile relieves a kind of proctatular stress for Hani.
May 17th, 2004 at 3:30 pm
Yeah! stick to the point please, this is not a java blog, but the unmentionable fixation blog.
So: Sir, yes Sir, you can stick ur boot where u want it, Sir!
May 17th, 2004 at 5:29 pm
Is that the royal “we”?
May 17th, 2004 at 9:00 pm
Hey, coppergreengrass, stop talking about my gayporn collection, or I’ll have you declared an enemy combatant and shipped off to Gitmo. It’s the American Way.
May 17th, 2004 at 9:50 pm
I look around in my workplace, and see the cow-orkers. I wonder if their mother taught them how not to be a dummaz.