End of bileblog?
I’ve been trying hard to keep this a secret, but I guess now that everything is finalised I might as well tell you all. Yes folks, I’ve accepted a new job doing .net stuff. Sadly this means that I’ll be hanging up my java hat, at least for the near future.
That change of scenery means that I no longer feel qualified to maintain the bileblog, since I suspect my contact with all things java will stagnate and slowly atrophy over time, so I might as well quit while I’m ahead.
I suppose this is a good a time as any to address some of the cruelty that has been directed at various undeserving individuals, and to hand out apologies to all who have so richly earned them. The first on the list of course is JBoss. I might as well confess that I have in fact used JBoss in a large number of projects, and while it has its issues, I have found it on the whole to be a superb and impressive J2EE container. The recent injection of cash they’ve received cannot but strengthen the server technically and ensure it takes its rightful place amongst the other players in this field. The JBoss crew in particular deserve an apology, they’re a great bunch of people and really do not deserve all the bad press they’ve been getting. Particularly rude I think is the persisting rumour that they regularly post anonymously and using fake aliases on TSS and other forums. They aren’t that evil, you know.
I’d also like to apologise to the xwork/webwork2 guys; I’ve actually been using this in some new projects and it really is a few generations ahead of webwork 1, kudos to you there, and I might as well admit my fondness for your work now. In the same vein, I’d like to apologise for the 3 out of 4 authors of the open source java programming book. Despite my protestations, I actually own a copy; it’s proven itself as a veritable treasure tome of good practices.
The maven crew have also richly earned their apology. For their tireless work at the next generation of build tools, they deserve nothing but gratitude and appreciation. Another confession: I’ve migrated a number of my projects to using maven and have been pleasantly surprised at the progress they’ve made lately. The tool is so friendly and functional now that early adopters wouldn’t recognise it anymore.
The codehaus kids are another bunch of great people who deserve an apology. There’s really no reason other that sheer spite and vindictiveness for me to be so offensive to them. Any casual observers of any one of their myriad of projects can see the effort and thought that they put into everything before allowing it into their warm and tight-knit haus.
Most of all, I apologise for the offensive and disparaging tone of the bileblog. I let my anger get the better of me, and once I started I felt I had to constantly make stuff up just to keep going. I am particularly embarrassed of the constant barrage of orifice, genital, and fecal related so called witticisms. Such things have no place in an industry so rich with professionals and experts.
Goodbye and good luck, may you all succeed in whatever you set your minds to.
April 1st, 2004 at 12:19 am
frost pist bitches
April 1st, 2004 at 12:23 am
Hi Hani,
That’s a nice april fool’s joke post :-)
Cheers
April 1st, 2004 at 12:39 am
Hani, I talked with the JBoss crew. They feel they can’t continue without your encouragement. So, they’re posting JBoss to C#, so you can continue to harangue them. You heard it here first… ;-)
April 1st, 2004 at 12:45 am
So sad I have to stop reading this wonderful blog. You are the best, Hani. Honestly. Those posts were the best pieces of sarcasm that a person could write down. Your humilty is a great lesson of life for all the rest of us. Take care and good luck.
April 1st, 2004 at 12:54 am
Can’t wait for your wonderful insights into the .NET world………
Coming to a blog near you, April 1, 2005
April 1st, 2004 at 12:55 am
bye, bye, hani! i too have to leave the green pastures of java-land for the dark hills of outland (otherwise known as gotdotnet). this is a dark day for java indeed, when such fine lads as ourselves are taken in by the dark side! oh the humanity!!!!
April 1st, 2004 at 1:27 am
This is the worst bile ever. I hope your experiences with .NET will be so bad that you will, at least, start a .NET bileblog.
Good luck in whatever you may get into. Whilst a little tough, I think your ‘biles’ have pushed people ahead for the better. You might be, for the java community, a greater loss that you think :-))
April 1st, 2004 at 1:27 am
Haha.
April 1st, 2004 at 1:29 am
Fuck. I completely forget 1′st April. Welcome back you sonofabitch !!! You really fooled me for 5 minutes. Fuck you !
April 1st, 2004 at 2:00 am
NOOOOOO!!!!!!
Oh, damn. Yeah, yeah, good April fools joke. :-|
April 1st, 2004 at 2:20 am
Great April Fools. But even if it wasn’t, I’m sure there enough things in the .NET world worthy of a biling, especially for a “switcher”.
April 1st, 2004 at 2:48 am
That ruled.
April 1st, 2004 at 3:20 am
And the entry was posted when, exactly 1.0 second after midnight, server time? Good one.
Anyone noticed how hard it must have been to pull off such precise timing? Oh, the precision! ;) ;)
April 1st, 2004 at 3:40 am
Why there is question mark after the phrase – “End of bileblog.” Are you still not sure about your new job? :-) It is always difficult to switch from Java to .Net. :(
April 1st, 2004 at 3:44 am
Hm…
Regarding things worthy of biling:
The .net world may not have the wank-factor that the Java community insists on. They may not be so complexity obsessed and they may not wank off to turn-every-POS-tagged-with-it-into-gold buzzwords (MVC being my pet peeve) quite as often as the common Java developer.
:)
April 1st, 2004 at 4:23 am
Im just a little old lady but I think you should really post an apology to the JBOSS community on TSS, which I have heard is where young people like you like to share your novel ideas.
April 1st, 2004 at 6:06 am
What trick, what device, what starting-hole canst thou now find out, to hide thee from this open and apparent shame?
April 1st, 2004 at 6:20 am
JBoss is already running on CLR. See you on the other side.
April 1st, 2004 at 6:28 am
I’ve been an anonymous coward of course…however, I want to confes that I am indeed Hani.
Also, I have to confess, .net is an april fools joke. Who would seriously take something so immature and over-marketed and make a career out of it. However, I save that for the next bile.
To all my friends…adieu.
April 1st, 2004 at 6:38 am
Such inordinate and low desires,
Such poor, such bare, such lewd, such mean attempts,
Such barren pleasures, rude society,
As thou art match’d withal, and grafted to!
April 1st, 2004 at 7:28 am
Hehe… happy april’s fools to you too…
April 1st, 2004 at 7:43 am
Draw thy tool. My naked weapon is out.
April 1st, 2004 at 9:59 am
It was almost believable up to the mavan paragraph.
April 1st, 2004 at 10:01 am
Thou impertinent motley-minded bugbear!
April 1st, 2004 at 10:04 am
See boxed. See boxed’s tool.
Hop on boxed, hear boxed hollar.
Crush tool. April fools!
-a Spiffster Haiku(TM)
April 1st, 2004 at 10:10 am
I also stopped blogging since I just accepted a job as treehugger in the nearby arboretum. I might blog in an internet cafe now, but I suspect my contact with computers and bits n bytes and stuff will slowly atrophy over time, so I’m quitting while I am so way ahead :)
April 1st, 2004 at 10:16 am
Thou reeky whoreson codpiece!
April 1st, 2004 at 11:08 am
BWA-hahahahaha. Pwned! Oh, the pwnage!
April 1st, 2004 at 11:13 am
all considered this would be an improvement: bilblog that uses higher orderd bile … “I am particularly embarrassed of the constant barrage of orifice, genital, and fecal related so called witticisms.” …
April 1st, 2004 at 11:31 am
I almost believed you after reading the first post Hani. Then you wrote about JBoss being great – and I knew it had to be April 1st.
April 1st, 2004 at 12:16 pm
Wonder how the bilblog.Net would have looked if you ever started working in .Net. If you have such wonderful words for Mature Java, I wonder what it would be for the NeverMature .Net:)
That was Great one..
April 1st, 2004 at 12:32 pm
Wonder how the bilblog.Net would have looked if you ever started working in .Net. If you have such wonderful words for Mature Java, I wonder what it would be for the NeverMature .Net:)
That was Great one..
April 1st, 2004 at 1:08 pm
Hey, no apology to Jakarta folks and Craig? What does that mean? That you actually like ‘em? Or is that part of the joke? Or not? Or is? Or not? Or is? Or not?
April 1st, 2004 at 1:11 pm
I’m confused.
April 1st, 2004 at 1:29 pm
I left Java for .NET 2 years ago. http://www.intertwingly.net/blog/291.html
April 1st, 2004 at 2:07 pm
You starvelling, you eel-skin, you dried neat’s-tongue, you bull’s-pizzle, you stock-fish–O for breath to utter what is like thee!-you tailor’s-yard, you sheath, you bow-case, you vile standing tuck!
April 1st, 2004 at 4:22 pm
[23:24] Spiffster– karma Spiffster Spiffster has -131 karma
[23:24]
[23:24]
April 1st, 2004 at 4:54 pm
4/1 guys.
April 1st, 2004 at 5:18 pm
Your bedded hair, like life in excrements, start up and stand on end.
April 1st, 2004 at 5:18 pm
Thou spongy fen-sucked nut-hook!
April 1st, 2004 at 5:18 pm
Idol of idiot-worshippers!
April 1st, 2004 at 5:56 pm
I thought someone stole your password until I realized it’s April 1st. That was one of the best bile blogs yet. Keep it up!
April 1st, 2004 at 6:38 pm
Why dost thou converse with that trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years?
April 1st, 2004 at 6:45 pm
Do you set down your name in the scroll of youth, that are written down old with all the characters of age? Have you not a moist eye, a dry hand, a yellow cheek, a white beard, a decreasing leg, an increasing belly? Is not your voice broken, your wind short, your chin double, your wit single, and every part about you blasted with antiquity? And will you yet call yourself young?
April 1st, 2004 at 9:38 pm
Oh, Yes, Craig MacSome-Irish-Name, he’s cool with me too….he brought so many of you all out of obscurity in terms of deploying working apps with his tomcat. Granted it has a few bugs and he’s left it for others, it is a decent web server. Not to say that some of the others like Jetty don’t deserve fair mention when it comes to freebies. As a reference implementation…alas, this is one of my biggest pet peeves.
That’s it, I can’t name everyone…sheesh, give it up.
April 1st, 2004 at 11:30 pm
Oh, Yes, Craig MacSome-Irish-Name, he’s cool with me too….he brought so many of you all out of obscurity in terms of deploying working apps with his tomcat. Granted it has a few bugs and he’s left it for others, it is a decent web server. Not to say that some of the others like Jetty don’t deserve fair mention when it comes to freebies. As a reference implementation…alas, this is one of my biggest pet peeves.
That’s it, I can’t name everyone…sheesh, give it up.
April 2nd, 2004 at 12:58 am
Well, it could be true.
The mean lifetime of a blog is 9 months – I saw that on BBC. There are lot of blogs dying, they just can’t make it from Christmas ’till Christmas.
April 2nd, 2004 at 5:17 am
you haven’t mention ThoughtWorks and MartinFowler in your apoligise. Good bye Hani,
wish you luck with .NET :D
April 2nd, 2004 at 5:35 am
Thou mewling crook-pated skainsmate!
April 2nd, 2004 at 5:36 am
Thou froward swag-bellied bugbear!
April 2nd, 2004 at 8:52 am
You had me going until the Maven thing. That’s when I looked up and saw that you posted this on April 1. Very nice job though, that was hysterical.
April 2nd, 2004 at 9:57 am
Thou lumpish onion-eyed giglet!
April 2nd, 2004 at 9:58 am
Away, you bottle-ale rascal, you filthy bung, away!
April 2nd, 2004 at 9:59 am
Thou spongy ill-breeding whey-face!
April 2nd, 2004 at 10:00 am
Thou spleeny brazen-faced coxcomb!
April 5th, 2004 at 4:48 am
boxed. Why don’t you go off and share verbal diarrhoea with chiara ?
April 5th, 2004 at 1:04 pm
verbal diarrhoea = diary
April 5th, 2004 at 1:15 pm
I scorn you, scurvy companion. What, you poor, base, rascally, cheating, lack-linen mate! Away, you moldy rogue, away!
April 6th, 2004 at 3:16 am
Have fun with .NET., you limp-dicked, ass-licking son of a cock-sucking whore. May your syphilitic tongue drop off and you mistake it for dinner.
Oh, and if this is an April Fool’s joke, never mind. Love your bilious stuff. Puke on!
April 6th, 2004 at 12:26 pm
Thou saucy malmsey-nosed hugger-mugger!
April 6th, 2004 at 9:38 pm
Shit, no bile for a week. Aint funny.
April 7th, 2004 at 8:23 am
Methink’st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee.
August 2nd, 2004 at 9:36 pm
Hani,
Damn, you caught me. I didn’t figure out it was an april fools joke until I saw the date at the end.
Urk.
Scott