Christmas Special: bilebile

I’m so sick of this so called bileblogger and all his shite. I mean, it’s one thing to provide constructive criticism (no matter how harshly), or even to harpoon some worthy adversary. It is, however, quite another to jab at pitiful targets that you just know have next to no ability to defend themselves.

I mean really, picking at Fred Grott? The guy’s dyslexia is so severe that his parents would likely have heart attacks if he just manages to recite the alphabet. Or how about poor Andy Oliver? Come on, once you’re past the 5th grade, picking on pot bellied bearded kids with the literary acumen of a dead gnat really isn’t cool. It’s far too easy.

I also note with particular disgust the simpering disclaimers when the so called ‘bile’ is hurled at people you care about or don’t want to piss off. Your pitiful tiptoeing around Atlassian for instance is revolting, as are your bullshit ‘now don’t me wrong I like blahblah however…’ excuses. They fool no one, you’re simply trying to walk that thin line between being universally reviled for the worthless hack you are and pandering to your braindead followers who between them can barely muster up a coherent thought. Say it like a man and quit this pussyfooting around.

It’s not like you have anything new to say either. Spasming periodically about Maven and Jakarta does not make for particularly thrilling reading, especially as it’s old crap regurgitated out in times of need. Everyone knows Maven is shit, we don’t need a daily reminder.

The best judge in fact of your intellectual prowess is the comments area. It’s hard to find such a collection of sexual deviants, clown-obsessed firstposters, and socially dysfunctional computer twats come together. The fact you that manage it is a testament to what a pathetically common denominator you aspire to.

16 Responses to “Christmas Special: bilebile”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    First Post

  2. mister clown cheese Says:

    Wow, no comment neceesary.

  3. me Says:

    third post. or something :-p

  4. Cameron Says:

    Hey, no messing with Hani, especially not with this half-hearted bile nonsense. If you’re going to bile, do it right. I think it might be time to get a “guest blogger” to bile Hani. It’s been a while since any guests were on this show.

  5. Dr. Who Says:

    you should drink less.

  6. anonymous coward Says:

    this bile was pittyfull

  7. Corby Page Says:

    A Very Hani Christmas

    Grandma: Hani, can you please pass the gravy?

    Hani: Sure, you mean this gravy right here? Or are these the rectum secretions from Rover’s bedpan? Because it’s really hard to tell the difference when I judge on criteria like aroma, flavor, texture…

    Sarah: You not very nice, Uncle Hani.

    Hani: Sarah, if you want to speak in my house or post on my blog, try English. What’s the use? Criticizing the grammar of a simpleton like you is just too easy. You probably favor inheritance over composition, you intellectually bankrupt half-wit. Dad, you need to spike up the eggnog more! These hot cousins of mine aren’t going to get wasted enough to lose their judgement by themselves!

  8. huffer Says:

    I wanna know more about that patriotism of Hani!
    Hani, would you please dedicate a blog to that?
    It’s not Java-related but since this blog is more than that, i guess you could do us a favour and entertain us!

  9. observer Says:

    just an observation, unnecessary temper and grumpiness has made you a clown.

  10. Tom Copeland Says:

    > has made you a clown.

    Cue clown-puncher posts.

  11. mjasnowski Says:

    Or a hacked bileblog perhaps

  12. Anonymous Says:

    Fate, you need to smoke more weed dude.

  13. Rampant Clown Says:

    What do you mean … clown obsessed first posters ? Im not obsessed, I am a clown

  14. Clown Puncher Says:

    What a great post.

    Auto-bile, like auto-erotica.

    Punch Punch Punch!

  15. Ted the Squirrel Says:

    Will there be more cake? Mmmmm… and MARS BARS!

  16. Roy Says:

    Hi, This is a very nice page. All the best!

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