Anniversary bile
It is six months ago to this very day that the bileblog was born. I’m feeling all sentimental and nostalgic so I thought I’d make a note of this special day and thank all the various entities that have made this possible.
I remember that dark and dismal June summer day, many months ago, where I saw some blogs by some java people. I remember the raw naked hatred I felt bubbling up with, the urge to lash out and inflict pain and harm on all and sundry. I felt the only way to destroy their unbridled enthusiasm and eagerness was to attack from within. Thus, the bileblog was born. All those years of pent up rage finally had an outlet.
I’d like to thank maven, for being one of the catalyst products for my rampage. Without the pain and agony of using that retarded product, coupled with the shit-eating grin that maven users often sprout, I might have never been pushed over the edge in quite that way.
Most of all, I’d like to thank the java community as a whole for being a bunch of wankers, steadily and consistently churning out pointless, useless, and badly written nonsense. No real thank you speech of course would be complete without some specific mentions, so here we go.
I’d like to thank jiramikejira and the atlassian crew, for being one of those rare companies that prides itself on having more server downtime than uptime (opensymphony.com has been down for a day now, and before that javablogs was down for over a day). I’d like to thank the JBoss group for having marketing people that make them sound like a failing dotcom, and leaders that make them sound like a bunch of pimply-faced social rejects. I’d also like to thank: Chiara’s drugs, Rickard’s terrorism, Carlos Perez’ love of the sound of his own voice, Fred Grott’s dyslexia/mental dysfunction, Gerald Bauer for being possibly the stupidest person in the world, Jason ‘xwork will cure world hunger’ Carreira, Pat ‘I want to be jiramike and xworkjason’s adopted lovechild’ Lightbody, Jakarta for letting every little shit with a stupid idea add their project, all the bugs in this IDEA EAP cycle, countless opensource and commercial products written by genetically defunct people, Anonymous Bastard, Clown Puncher, the early days of the first post guy, Silent Bob, Sideshow Bob, and so on and so forth. I hope you all keep doing what you do best, so I have enough material for another six months.
Finally, thanks to the people who managed to see past the vitriol and responded intelligently to my complaints. It’s the one glimmer of hope in an otherwise dank smelly lightless tunnel.
December 10th, 2003 at 10:40 am
Happy bileversary bileboy!
December 10th, 2003 at 10:41 am
and there was much rejoicing
December 10th, 2003 at 11:07 am
JBoss Group–”social rejects?” Now you are making me nostalgic, any more talk like this and we’ll have to grow braces again, start wearing all black and find a date to the prom. As for “failing dotcoms”–well, we didn’t participate in the tech boom, but for all of us who grew up in the eighties, here’s to “Partying like it’s 1999.”
December 10th, 2003 at 11:57 am
I read nathaliemark’s post as “failing condoms.” Yikes.
December 10th, 2003 at 12:10 pm
I think I am in love with Nathalie. Do you think she may be a possible target for defecting?
December 10th, 2003 at 12:29 pm
Congratulations, Hani! Please keep the BileBlog the stinking shitty pile of anecdotes about horrible software development practices and goddamn stupid developers it has been so gracefully so far, and everytime someone learns how NOT to do these stuff, the world is a better place.
I’m left wondering how will be the 1-year bileblog anniversary, though. Maybe a Bileparty is on the way, WWWF-sponsored? I’d pay big bucks to see Hani vs Andy on the ring, that’s for sure!
December 10th, 2003 at 12:31 pm
I’ll toast to clownpuncher.
December 10th, 2003 at 1:32 pm
What about Rick Ross?
December 10th, 2003 at 3:01 pm
cheers!
December 10th, 2003 at 3:13 pm
Cameron vs Clown Puncher would be a match
December 10th, 2003 at 3:26 pm
I only punch my own clown
December 10th, 2003 at 3:28 pm
Don’t forget that your anniversary as a pilot with Lufthansa is coming up soon.
December 10th, 2003 at 3:34 pm
Whens your 10th anniversary on the help desk at fornicate.net ? Must be soon Hani
December 10th, 2003 at 3:46 pm
Whens your 10th anniversary on the help desk at fornicate.net ? Must be soon Hani
December 10th, 2003 at 4:56 pm
Fuck me, honey! Mmmmmmhhhh…I’m horny baby….
December 10th, 2003 at 8:02 pm
When do we get the Bile MTV Awards featuring a Nathalie/Chiara kiss?
December 10th, 2003 at 9:39 pm
jira stands for crappy code and tons of down time. Why anyone would buy something from the atlassian company, I would never know. They can’t program worth crap. They are worthy of as much bile as you can give them.
December 10th, 2003 at 10:13 pm
I just ate chocolate icecream.
December 10th, 2003 at 11:26 pm
That wasn’t chocolate….
December 11th, 2003 at 1:31 am
That wasn’t ice-cream
December 11th, 2003 at 4:34 am
You didn’t really eat it…
December 11th, 2003 at 4:40 am
Must have been four other guys then…
December 11th, 2003 at 7:00 am
Don’t you wanna bag Configuration management, go on, you know you want too….
Oh, and expensive consultancies and the companies that keep them in business in these harsh times…
And the serfs that keep doing their duty right up to the day they are outsourced like any senior manager considers doing a good job means anything anymore…
December 11th, 2003 at 12:47 pm
Chocolate lovers: you were all right! Here’s another one: I was watching jackass last night.
December 11th, 2003 at 3:39 pm
That wasn’t Jack.
December 11th, 2003 at 10:17 pm
That wasn’t an ass
December 12th, 2003 at 10:48 am
Jackasses: you were right again. Here’s the last one: It’s Friday.
December 12th, 2003 at 11:49 am
That’s not fries.
December 13th, 2003 at 6:33 am
Happy Birthday…
Hani, your comments look like kinda RAP music! ;-) All agressive & beating…
December 15th, 2003 at 8:02 pm
>>
>>It’s the one glimmer of hope in an otherwise
>>dank smelly lightless tunnel
>>
Did you know something about Saddam that we didnt??
Mo
December 16th, 2003 at 5:20 pm
Nothing shits me more than referring a number of _months_ an _anni_versary.
Except for multiples of twelve, I guess. :-/
December 18th, 2003 at 11:01 pm
The ‘dank smelly lightless tunnel’ is your own intestine, which would also explain the bile taste and the fact that you’re surrounded by turds.