JDJ Readers Choice Award Farce
If anything proves that JDJ readers are possibly the absolute stupidest of the stupid that grace this earth, it’s the Readers Choice Awards. Of course, it’s pretty clear that the whole exercise is nothing more than a spam tool (note how you ‘win’ a free subscription which entitles you to a few thousand mailings a year due to JDJ ruthlessly selling your email to anyone who even looks their way). However, I am constantly amazed at the nominations that make it on there.
Who comes up with these names? Who decides what product goes into what category? Whoever makes that decision needs a lobotomy poste haste, along with some strategically placed snips to stop those genes from propagating.
For example, in ‘best database tool’, we have XMLSpy nominated. Best enterprise DB somehow manages to exclude MS SQLServer (yes folks, it IS one of the serious contenders), not to mention a bevy of Java DB’s (mckoi, cloudscape, pointbase, etc).
Also interesting is the choice of words on the ballot. Now I realise English isn’t my first language, so I might be misunderstanding something. However, I thought that nominations happen so that candidates get onto a ballot. Once on a ballot, the nomination process is done, and the next step is vote. You vote for someone on a ballot, you don’t nominate them (or are you nominating them for another secret ballot where the candidates who paid the most gets the most votes?). So given all that, why is the ‘no vote’ radio button marked ‘No nominee’? The mind boggles.
One of the most entertaining categories has to be ‘Best Java Application’. This is a free for all the like of which is rarely seen outside of SourceForge. IntelliJ IDEA happily competes with Websphere Application Server, while both try to fend off that dashing young upstart ‘Java Dropdown Menu 2.0′.
To break up the monotony of the voting (or should I say nominating) process, now and then we’re regaled by a witty stacktrace proclaiming coldfusion.tagext.validation.IllegalAttributeValueException: Attribute validation error for tag CFOUTPUT at E:\Inetpub\wwwroot\java\javafooter.cfm:336. Such thrilling stuff.
Somehow, Oracle’s JDeveloper made it into the list for ‘best java component’. Good luck embedding that behemoth into anything. The ‘Best Java Profiling/Testing Tool’ category also seems to invite all comers. For some reason this category seems particularly fond of reporting engines, which if memory serves have precious little to do with profiling or testing java. Still, at least XMLSpy makes another appearance. If you’re ever in doubt, just vote for XMLSpy, it’s the one constant in all these polls, sitting there looking pretty (and irrelevant) at the bottom of almost every single category.
Most depressing of all though is how many people take these votes seriously and participate, thus perpetuating the cycle of evil. Come on folks, how on earth can you vote for a poll which thinks that XMLSpy is a worthy contender for the coveted ‘Best Database Access Tool’ award?
August 27th, 2003 at 10:50 am
Finally a bile about it. This industry is so full of such shit.
August 27th, 2003 at 11:43 am
Well, the “nominee” thing probably is just a question of English. a nominee being a person who has been nominated, “no nominee” would mean, “none of the above.” That phrase, however, would be FAR too everyday.
Besides, we all know that the real issue that Hani has with the JDJ RCA is that BileBlog has failed again–for the eighth year running–to be nominated in the “Best Java IDE” category. Three years ago it did get nominated in the “Best J2EE Server Framework Based on IOC XML EJBs”, but lost when Susan Lucci won for her portrayal of Erica Kane.
August 27th, 2003 at 1:05 pm
I am still waiting for freeroller to appear in “software with most annoying bug” category.
August 27th, 2003 at 2:47 pm
Are you kidding? Freeroller would be: Best legacy system integration tool
August 27th, 2003 at 10:06 pm
Really? I thought Freeroller was a database tool!
August 27th, 2003 at 11:33 pm
Its a floor wax…no its a dessert topping…no its a floorwax AND a dessert topping.
August 28th, 2003 at 1:09 am
To get around the apostrophe thing, everyone should just use ^ (or some other random char) instead.
On topic though, I^ve marvelled at the JDJ ^awards^ for years. It is ridiculous for all of the reasons that you mention. It^s amazing how they categorize ^nominees^, as well as how they choose to omit relevant contenders in categories (one of the many examples is the Best Java Persistence Architecture category – 2 of many omissions there are Hibernate and Cocobase. I hate Cocobase with a passion, but where is it? Oh wait, it^s a Database Tool or Driver).
In fact the JDJ website in general looks like the work of an undergrad marketing student^s bad acid trip. Oh well, I guess it^s good bile fodder…
August 28th, 2003 at 1:32 am
and everyone uses votebots. its that easyy
August 28th, 2003 at 5:37 am
Of course, one of the problems is that the reader’s choice awards are also based on the readers’ nominations. If noone nominates hibernate or cocobase, they’re not on the ballot. This happened to JBoss last year – and they screamed about it, too, so Alan Williamson bent the rules a tad to add them to the ballot.
The reader’s choice awards aren’t audited very well yet, this is true – but to complain about their quality and aiming that complaint at JDJ itself is a bit incorrect. Aim it at the morons doing the voting.
August 28th, 2003 at 9:06 am
Come on Hani, I am so very disappointed in you. How could you even entertain any thought of competence from JDJ?
Joe, for once, makes a good point (the parable of the monkeys and the typewriters and the script of Hamlet springs to mind) about morons doing the voting – they are the readers and as editor he knows them best.
Birds of a feather really do flock together.
Tune in next week when a rolling stone will actually gather moss.
August 28th, 2003 at 9:35 am
W: Geez, I appreciate it. BTW, how would YOU do a reader’s choice award? Really – I’m interested. I’ve talked to sys-con about MY suggestions, some of which are doable in the short term, others in the long term.