So, you’ve heard of irc, you’ve heard of that most chaotic network of all, efnet. You think a #java channel on there might just be the right blend of craziness and tomfoolery for you, and decide to take the plunge and join.
Maybe you have a question, maybe you want to meet likeminded people, maybe you’re living in your mother’s basement and have no life to speak of, but need to feel some sort of validation from other similarly unlucky losers.
Whatever the reason, you’ll need to be armed with a few simple rules in order to survive this dog eat dog new world you’re entering.
Never, ever ask a question unless you’re an op. It is considered rude to ask, you’d often be interrupting the peace and quiet. Efnet’s #java is most definitely not a newbie friendly place, and any questions will more likely than not result in varying levels of abuse followed by a few kicks, and eventually a ban if you’re foolish enough to have autojoin on.
Mock anyone who isn’t an op. These will win you points in the eyes of all the ops, who almost without exception enjoy seeing weaker people mocked and derided. Points with ops can eventually lead to you earning the right to ask questions.
Never, ever provide code as an answer to a question. This results in the questioner feeling that they can get away with asking stuff. The idea is to ensure that anyone with questions ends up feeling that life would have been much, much easier had they gone in search of documentation first.
There are a few easy targets to kick around and abuse for cheap laughs and points with ops. These are those rare people who happen to be really, really nice folks. Kind hearted, forgiving, tolerant, big dumb oaf type people. Ones who won’t blow up at you if you look at them funny. Thus, you can abuse them without fear of (much) retaliation. Sometimes said people will try to put on a thin veneer of manliness about them, but don’t be fooled. Examples of this are people like boxed
and pyroman.
Humour is a very subjective thing, but you’re on safe ground if you stick to homosexuality and almost any form of non-traditional sexual activity.
If you’re willing to adhere to these few simple rules, your stay will be a lot more enjoyable. Keep at it and one of these days you might stumble upon the holy grain of an on-topic discussion. Don’t hold your breath though.
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on Friday, July 25th, 2003 at 12:35 am and is filed under Java.
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July 25th, 2003 at 2:21 am
Why go IRC then? You can talk to others in web-based forums, or to yourself in your own weblog.
July 25th, 2003 at 4:27 am
Wow.
Didn’t go to this one, as I much prefer using newsgroups or online forums, but that sure sounds bad. Don’t even wanna try :-)
Do you hold such a low view on places like, say, the JDC forums, or borland.public.jbuilder.java.* NG’s?
July 25th, 2003 at 8:30 am
You forgot to mention that you yourself is an op on #java :-)
July 25th, 2003 at 12:22 pm
Hey this is the *Bile*Log, so I would say positive comments would be hmmm … a little rare. IRC is for a certain kind of … hmm … personality – even for Mr BileLog it seems a little too much, heh.
July 29th, 2003 at 9:59 am
I think old fate was being facetious there.
July 29th, 2003 at 3:39 pm
It’s not _that_ bad in #java, but it is close. Your best bet is to ask a hard question. If you can be answered by looking up the answer via google, the javadoc, or the language spec in under 10 seconds, you’ll be ridiculed.
And what the hell is it with Canadian school kids? Does Canada require all java students to hit IRC for answers? Perhaps it’s a character-building exercise. /kb #java *.rogers.com